I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
