im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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