How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
