My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
