Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Randomize
