sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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