just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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