she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
