You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Randomize
