Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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