we're chasing vodka with high fives
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
