Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
