Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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