we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
