i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
