So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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