your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
only you would photoshop your dick
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
