She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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