Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
There's always time for handjobs
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
