You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
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