please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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