just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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