I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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