Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
i think im in europe. pls send help
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Randomize
