Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
