We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
