Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
