so explain again why im purple
no
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Randomize
