we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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