I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
either way he was missing a nipple.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
