I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
