kristin has been a bad kristin
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
