she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize
