clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
