In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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