I showed him my bush... on skype.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
someone owes me an orgasm
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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