My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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