My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
