we're blogging at a bar
hell yes lets make some ravioli
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
