is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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