Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
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