the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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