my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
