I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
