I'm going to jail i love you
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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