trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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