oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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