We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
