if you like me you must not know who I am
I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
