I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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